The Journey Through Our Past
by Ducksquackloud
Summary: Katniss and Peeta decide it's finally time to tell their kids about the games. Johanna's son, Henry is fifteen, Finnick is eighteen, Rowan is fifteen, and Willow is seventeen. They all get together every summer, but this year their past will pour from their mouths and into the ears of their innocent children.
1. Chapter 1

"Willow, Rowan, we're going inside now!" I call to my daughter and son, whom are six and four.

"We're coming, Mom," Willow shouts, tugging on Rowan's arm and leading him towards our rather large house. I can't help but smile as Peeta comes out with a plate of cupcakes, frosted to perfection.

"Hey, we were just coming inside," I say, leaning in to press my lips against his. He returns the gesture, smiling as we break away.

"Okay, I'll put them on the table," he tells me, turning to walk inside. I go fetch Rowan, who is picking at the grass.

"He won't come, Mommy," Willow wines, clearly frustrated with her younger brother.

"It's okay, Daddy made cupcakes. Now, go get yours, I'll take care of Rowan," I shoo her away. She skips to the house, her two braids swaying back and forth. I sigh, "Come on, Rowan," I begin to lift him up by his under arm.

"But I wanna play," he argues.

"How about you go get your cupcake?" I know he loves his father's cupcakes and his face immediately lights up. He squirms from my arms and takes off running to the house. I smile as I walk in last, seeing frosting on everyone's faces, including Peeta's. I can just barely make out what was on everyone's cupcake. Rowan's had toy truck, Willow's had the tree for which she was named for, and Peeta's had a painting pallet.

"For you," Peeta bows, handing me my cupcake. I smile at him and kiss a spot on his face where he smeared the frosting.

"Ewww," Willow shouts, scrunching up her face.

"What?" Peeta asks, "This?" he says jokingly, dipping his head down for another kiss, this time on the mouth.

"Yes!" she exclaims, shuddering. Peeta and I laugh at her before I take a moment to look at my cupcake. It's of our outfits from our first games. I stare up at Peeta with teary eyes.

"It's beautiful."

"I'm sorry, I just thought it'd be nice on there. I shouldn't have-"

I cut him off, "No, it's fine. It just brings back memories, that's all." I smile.

"Oh, um, Annie called, she wanted to talk to you about something," he says, taking another bite of his cupcake.

"Okay, I'll go call her," I walk to the phone and punch in the numbers to Annie's phone.

"Hello?" I hear her voice on the other end, sounding frail and small.

"Hey, Peeta said you called."

"Yeah, um I was wondering if Finn and I could come for a few days. He really wanted to see Rowan and Willow."

"Oh, of course, that'd be great. I haven't seen him in months. In fact, Johanna was planning on coming sometime in the next few weeks. Maybe we could all hang out together, it's been so long since we've had a get-together," I suggested.

"Okay, we were planning on a coming in about a week, I don't know the exact day. Finn has a little swimmers thing he does, so he doesn't want to miss it."

"Okay, how about I call Jo now?"

"Sure," she replies. I punch in the numbers for Johanna's phone.

"So, Brainless, what do you need this time?" Johanna says plainly and sarcastically.

"Well, Annie was going to come to our house with Finn. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to bring Henry in about a week," I say. Henry is the same age as Rowan, and they enjoy playing together whenever we get together. After the games Johanna decided to fool around...about every night. She got stuck with Henry after his father claimed it wasn't his. But, once he was born she fell in love with him. It wasn't easy to tell whose it was without doing testing. She was always sleeping with someone new.

"Yeah, sure."

"Finn is so excited to see everyone. He wouldn't stop talking about Peeta's cakes after he came from your house," Annie chirps up. She has gotten a lot better after the games, I feel like she thought once Snow was dead she was alive again. I'm happy for her, and I'm glad she is better, it's a lot easier on Finn. I know Finnick would've been proud of her and his son.

"Okay, well, we'll probably- Henry, put that down!" she interrupts herself by screaming at Henry, causing me to cover my ears. She returns to the phone a moment later, with a crying Henry in the background, "I'll call you later, I've gotta go," she groans into the phone. Annie and I laugh as she hangs up.

"Well, I'll call you later, Annie. Then we can plan a little more," I say. Just then, Rowan, Willow, and Peeta come into the room with frosting all over their faces.

"I've got to go, too. I have to pick Finn up from a friend's house," she explains.

"Yeah, I've got three kids to clean up. They just had cupcakes," I chuckle, and Annie does too.

"Okay, bye," she says.

"Bye," and with that we hang up.

"Mommy, Daddy said we could watch a movie before we go to bed tonight," Willow says, licking some frosting off her fingers.

"Okay, but first I've got to clean all your faces off," I laugh. I grab a cloth from the sink and begin to wipe Rowan's face. He squirms a bit, but finally I get it all off. Next, I wash Willow's face, who stands still until I'm done. Finally, I reach Peeta, who is smiling down at me, with those gorgeous blue eyes. I wipe his face clean, kissing his lips deeply before putting the rag back in the sink.

"Gross!" Willow shouts, scrunching up her nose.

"Can we watch a movie, Mommy?" Rowan says. I look over at the clock, which tells me it's already 5:30.

"First, we need our pajamas on," Peeta says.

"How about we race, who can finish the fastest?" I ask, knowing they'll rush off.

"Me!" Rowan and Willow shout together, running up the stairs to their bedrooms.

"Come on, we have to get on our pajamas," I say, pulling Peeta's arm. When we reach our rather large bedroom Peeta locks the door behind us. When he turns around I'm already in the closet looking for pajamas.

"How about this one?" he asks, pulling a short silk nightgown from a hanger. It's orange, his favorite color, with spaghetti straps.

"Not in front of the kids," he gives me a puppy dog face, his blue eyes pulling me in, "Okay, later," I say. He smiles at me, and helps me unbutton my shirt. We end up kissing for I don't know how long, but I can't keep track of time when Peeta's lips are on mine. We didn't even begin undressing.

"Mommy, Daddy, are you almost done!?" Rowan shouts from outside the door.

"We'll be out in a minute, honey," I say, walking away from Peeta, throwing on some pajamas. All he does is smile, and he quickly dresses, walking outside to where the kids have sat at the couch.

"Can we watch this one?" Willow asks, "I've never seen it before," Peeta quickly grabs it from her and hides it behind his back.

"What is it?" I ask, trying to crane my head around his body.

"You don't want to see it, I'm just going to put it upstairs," he says, turning to leave. When he turns I snatch it from his hands, and nearly drop it when I read what it says: 'The 74th Annual Hunger Games'.

"Where did you get this, Willow?" I whisper.

"It was in a box in Dad's painting room."

"You are not to go in there again. Do you understand?" I say, with a full voice.

"But, I want to watch it."

"Honey, this is only for Mommy and Daddy to watch," Peeta steps in, "Kat, do you want to go upstairs?"

"No. No, I can't let this rule my life. I'm going to go put it away, I'll be back in a minute," I say, doing my best to choke down my tears. I think back to the reaping day, what if Effie didn't pick Prim's name? What if she picked someone else? I decide that I love my life just the way it is. I have two beautiful children, and a handsome husband. I have all the money and food I could possibly need. I'm happy. If only I could break away from the monstrous thing know as my past. When I walk down stairs Peeta's just put in a cartoon, and the two kids are cuddled under one of his arms. I walk to the couch, sitting down beside him. He lifts up his arm so I can snuggle in, then he drops it at my side.

"You okay, Kat?" he whispers into my ear, probably so the kids won't be curious.

"I'm fine," I sigh, "Maybe we should find a safer spot for that stuff. There's just so much of it, I wish I could get rid of it."

"It's up to you."

"No, it's not. This stuff is yours, too. It's everything anyone knows us for. I'm just glad that we got to choose if the next generation should learn about it in school," I tell him.

"I don't want to tell the kids, either. But, eventually they're going to hear from someone else. Wouldn't you rather tell them ourselves? We can show them the tapes and-"

"No. We can't tell them. Ever," I say quickly, cutting Peeta off.

"We'll talk about this later," he says as quietly as he can. He turns his attention to the screen, and I do the same awhile after. When the movie is over Rowan is asleep, "Come on, Willow, it's time for bed," Peeta yawns, picking her up.

"But I'm not tired, Daddy!" she wines.

"Come on, Mommy and Daddy are going to bed soon, too."

"I'll get Rowan," I say, picking up his sleeping figure.

"Okay," Peeta says, and I follow him up the steps. I carefully lay him down on his bed, giving him a kiss on the cheek. When I get back to the room Peeta's already in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

"Hey," I say, walking over to him. He spits and wipes his mouth, walking out of the room, straight past me. I sigh, "Are you mad at me?"

"Yes," he says, taking off his shirt and crawling into bed. I take off my pajamas and take out the nightgown he recommended.

"Why?" I ask, putting on the nightgown and sliding in next to him.

"It's not your decision to made. We have tell them," he says, not turning to face me.

"No, we don't," I argue. Why would he purposely tell them something so awful?

"Yes, Katniss. They need to know. What are you going to say if they ever ask us how we met?"

"I'll tell them the truth, we met at your bakery," I say. Peeta turns to me and I can tell he's getting frustrated with me.

"No, we didn't. You know the only reason we're together is-"

"Daddy?" Rowan's voice cuts Peeta off.

"Hey, did we wake you, honey?" I ask, getting up and grabbing my robe.

"Yeah," he yawns.

"Come on, I'll put you to bed," I say, taking his hand and leading him to his bedroom.

"Were you fighting with Dad?" he asks as he pulling the covers up to his chin.

"No, we were just...debating."

"Okay, goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight," I say, kissing him on the forehead. I walk back to my room and see that Peeta's already turned off the light.

"Peeta?" no answer, "Come on, it's only 7:30, can we just talk?"

"Talk about what?" he asks, sitting up.

"How we're going to tell them. When we're going to tell them."

"So now you want to tell them?"

"Of course I want to tell them. I was just sensitive to it after Willow found the tape," I tell him gently, reaching for his hand. My hand fits perfectly in his large one.

"How long do we wait?" he asks, looking into his lap.

"Maybe we should talk to Jo and Annie, we can tell all the kids together," I suggest.

"I think that'd be great."

"I'll talk to them in the morning. We have plans to make about their trip anyway," I say.

"Okay, are we good, then?" he smiles hesitantly.

"We're good," I say just before kissing him deeply. We kiss for awhile before we're out of breath. Then, we go to bed with our fingers intertwined.

**So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Do you want more? R&R! I hope you enjoy! Check out my other story, and if you're reading it, thanks for checking out this one! Next update on Friday!**


	2. Chapter 2

11 years later...

"Kat, they'll be here soon, you should get ready," Peeta says sleepily while shaking me. I've been dreading today for the past eleven years. Annie, Johanna, Peeta, Johanna's husband, Leo, and I decided we'd tell the kids this year. Willow is already seventeen, Rowan is fifteen, Henry is fifteen, and Finnick is eighteen. We decided that they were all at an appropriate age, but I never thought it'd come so soon. We aren't going to actually tell them today, we're just planning out how to tell them. We're all going over to Peeta's house, the kids never go there because there's hardly any furniture. As I start to worry I go into the shower and quickly washed my body and my hair. I leave my hair down, I find that I look childish with my braid, and in the past ten years or so I've stopped putting it in my hair.

I walk into Rowan's room, of course, he's still snoring. I plug my nose, trying to block out the odor of his room. I wish he'd clean up in here, "Wake up, Rowan. Henry and Finn will be here soon," he groans and puts a pillow over his head. I run down the steps to where Peeta is flipping the last pancakes onto plates. I smile at him, "Rowan doesn't want to get up," I tell him.

"I'll get him up, that kid needs to learn how to sleep at night and be awake in the day," he says, filling a bucket with cold water and carrying it up the stairs to Rowan's room. I follow him up, wanting to see the look on his face when Peeta dumps it on him. Sure enough he leaps from the bed, raising his hands in surrender and walking into his bathroom.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" Willow shouts from downstairs.

"Hey, how'd it go?" I ask. She's been up practicing her archery all morning. When I introduced it to her when she was nine she was already a perfect shot. When she turned ten Beetee made her high-tech bow and arrows. Which, if course, were hot pink. Then, when she turned eleven she began working with a personal trainer, and they've been improving her skills for six years.

"Awesome! We tried something new where she throws balls in the air and I have to shoot them!" she says excitedly, digging into the pancakes Peeta made. He shoots me a look, knowing that I used to practice like that before our second games.

"Well, did you hit them?" I ask, pushing hair out of my eyes, choking on my tears.

"Yeah," she notices me trying to hold back tears, "What's wrong, Mom?"

"It's just...um...you've grown up so much. I remember when I first gave you a bow," I improvise. I'm glad we're letting the kids have a fun first day before we take their innocence away by telling them everything. I just wish we could put it off, but I know now is the time, the kids need to know. I don't want them to find out from someone else. The doorbell rings and Willow leaps up to go get it. She loves when they all come to our house for the summer. She doesn't mind hanging out with the boys, they were her first friends when she was little.

"Henry! Aunt Jo! Uncle Leo!" she exclaims, hugging them all. She's a lot like Peeta in that way, very much a people person.

"Hey, Johanna, Leo, nice to see you!" Peeta beams at them, hugging Johanna, and shaking Henry and Leo's hands. I walk upstairs without greeting them, I can't start crying or Willow will think I'm pregnant or something. When I'm in the bathroom I lock it and start crying. What am I gonna do? What if when we sit them down I burst into tears? I've got to control myself. Peeta's already gotten out his medication, and the restraints that can be used in an emergency to tie him down to the bed. Annie told us she's bringing along her medication, she hasn't had a breakdown in years. Finn doesn't even really know about them. All he knows is that sometimes his mom needs to be alone every once in awhile. Of course, Willow and Rowan would never think there father would do anything to harm anyone. I made sure Peeta had fully recovered before we tried to have a baby. I continue to sob for a few minutes before I hear a soft knock on the door.

"Katniss? Can I come in?" Peeta's gentle voice asks.

"Okay," I say, wiping my eyes. He immediately hugs me, and I bury my face in his chest.

"Do you still want to tell them?" he asks.

"Yeah, they need to know," I tell him, "Come on," I splash some water onto my face,"we have guests."

"Alright," he takes my hand with a smile on his face. Getting up has proven to be getting more difficult as he gets older. They developed technology to give him a new leg, but it isn't the same as the one you're born with, but he can sleep with it on, and it looks real. They say he'll have to use a walking cane when he gets older, or possibly a wheelchair. The kids don't know this, of course, he had the surgery when I was pregnant with Willow. But, tomorrow, they'll know about the everything.

"Hey, Brainless," Johanna greets me with the nickname that stuck from our second games.

"Hi, Leo," he hugs me, and I hug back.

"The kids decided to go swimming, they're getting their suits on, we told them we'd be over at my old house," Peeta tells me.

"We told them to call if they need something, not come over. And to tell Annie when she gets here that we're at Peeta's house," Johanna fills me in. She holds a box full of stuff.

"Is that all your stuff?" I ask, pointing to the box.

"Yeah, you got yours?" she asks.

"It's in our room, I'll go get it, you guys go ahead," I tell them, turning around and running up the stairs. I return down with the box and walk over to Peeta's old house. They're all gathered around the table with cans of soda sitting around them. I take a soda and sit down next to Peeta, throwing the box on the floor.

"So, what're we gonna do?" I ask no one in particular.

"I think we should show them each of our tapes," Johanna says quietly, "Do you guys have the tapes still?"

"Yeah, they're in the box," Peeta leans over and grabs Johanna's tape from the box. He slides it across the table to her. She picks it up, staring at it for awhile until Annie walks through the door.

"Hi, guys, I brought some of Finnick's and my stuff," she says, walking into the room and sitting at the table. I reach over and grab her's and Finnick's tapes, handing them to her.

"We decided to show them the tapes first," I tell her, looking down.

"Okay. Maybe we should just show our kids our tapes. They don't need to watch them all," she suggests. I agree, they shouldn't have to sit through five tapes of teenagers killing each other. We all nod, before we decide a few more things to talk to them about. Like the rebellion, and why the games started in the first place, and how we lost so many people, and all the specifics about the games and the rules.

"Now, how about we all relax and go out by the kids for a swim?" Leo suggests, standing up with a smile.

"That should make the mood lighten up," Peeta says to everyone. They all go to their rooms and change into their swimsuits while I sit at the table with Peeta.

"I'm scared."

"I know, we all are. But I think we should enjoy the day and feel stressed tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright. I think I might look through this stuff, so I'm not surprised tomorrow," I tell him.

"Me, too," he says, putting the box in the center of the table and reaching in. He comes back out with the wrist band I was issued in District 13. He looks at me, "'Mentally Disoriented'?" he asks.

"Um, it was before you were rescued. I thought you were dead, and I was sort of wishing I was, too. I used to tie knots with Finnick, something to keep me busy. I didn't go to the exercises or eat the right proportions, or even go to the soldier training until the last minute. I was a mess," I tell him, slipping the band on my wrist. I never really talked about District 13, just like he never talked about how he was tortured in the Capitol. I stare at it, I don't know if we'll be able to get through all this stuff twice. I stick my hand in and pull out a magazine. The headline reads: 'Victors Engaged!'

"I remember when I proposed to you when we were sixteen. I didn't want to, I was just so sad," he says, looking down at his engagement ring.

"Why not?" I ask him. I thought he had always wanted to marry me, ever since we were five years old.

"Because you didn't want to marry me, you didn't love me, and I loved you," he says to me, tears in his eyes.

"I love you, Peeta. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that," I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a long kiss. Then I look into his eyes again, "In a way, I'm glad your name was picked all those years ago. If it wasn't I would surely be dead, the games would still be going on, and we never would've had Willow and Rowan," I tell him, resting my head on his chest.

"I love you, too," he says, "and I'm sorry I forgot that."

"Come on, let's go by the pool," I grab his hand and lead him to our house so we can change.

When we walk out I see Johanna stretched out on a lounge chair in a one-piece swimsuit, to cover the scars she has. You can see a few on her arms, but not enough to question. Annie, on the other hand, wears a bikini, she was never severely hurt in her games, and was too distraught to take any part in the war, so she has no scars left on her body. Peeta wears a long-sleeve wet suit, with orange swim trunks. I wear a long cover-up that stops at my ankles. I don't usually swim with other people anymore. Usually only with Peeta, because he knows how each and every one of my scars came to be. Once, when he was little, Rowan asked me what happened to my arm. It was where Johanna cut me to get my tracker out, and I couldn't tell Rowan that. I simply told him I fell on something, then I locked myself in my room while Peeta watched the kids for the rest of the day. I watch as Peeta wades in the pool, and as Willow jumps in. They all look so happy, just relaxing and having fun together. I look over at Johanna, who is taking in the scene as well, thinking about how she feels about telling Henry. I've always thought she was stronger than me, because she showed no emotion, and refused to let anything bring her down, especially the Capital. Today, though, I think we're both being strong by not allowing ourselves to back out, and keep our past from our children a little longer. Annie looks over at us both, "How're you holding up?" she asks.

"Alright," Johanna says, closing her eyes, "I'm just a hoping they won't be angry."

"Why would they be angry?" I ask, looking away from the pool.

"That we didn't tell them we've killed people," she says, as if it's obvious, opening her eyes. I guess I never thought about it that way, I was always afraid they'd be scared of us after what they saw. Seeing your parents kill children isn't exactly the best television to watch. I know I would never be able to see my mother or father killing anyone. I guess if my father was forced into it he'd do alright, with a bow he'd probably win. But, my mother and prim would both be helpless.

"I guess," I say, turning back to see Peeta and the kids having a chicken fight. Rowan is on his shoulders, and Willow is on Henry. Finnick continues to race Leo across the pool, winning everytime. His father would be so proud of him, he turned out to be a handsome young man, just like his father. If only he were still alive.

"Katniss, you wanna come in?" Peeta asks me as Rowan throws Willow off of Henry. I take a shaky breath. Swimming reminds me too much of the arena. I just can't be in there when so many people are around. I can only go with Peeta, because when I first go in I sort of start to cry a little bit, but them before I relax and enjoy it a little. Johanna still isn't too fond of it, either. So, she says she doesn't swim anymore, but Leo loves to. He's racing Finn across the pool .

"No," I call to him. He nods his head reassuringly, because he knows why I don't want to go.

"Come on, Mom!" Rowan hops out and walks over, dripping with water. Willow gets out, too, and they both pull on my arms to try and get me in the water. Then I notice something on my wrist as they get me to stand up. My wrist band! I struggle to break away from my son and daughter, but Willow notices. Rowan is clueless, still tugging at my arm.

"What's this?" she asks when it slips off. Peeta's eyes widen, and he leaps from the pool, snatching it out of Willow's hands. She looks up with confusion, and I know she won't let this go.

Okay, I'm super sorry for not updating on Friday, but I was gone until today! I hope you guys like it, and be back for more on Friday. Shoot for 10 reviews? I love you all!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"We're just going to put this away," Peeta tells them, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his house. I shoot Johanna and Annie a look, and they give me the same one. Willow keeps up with us.

"Where did you get that, Mom?" she asks me. Then she looks to Peeta, "Dad? Where's it from?" she isn't giving up. She keeps on asking the same question all the way to Peeta's house. Then, I can't help it, I start bawling my eyes out, right on the doorstep to Peeta's old house. Now, she probably thinks that bracelet is what I am today, because of how I've been acting.

"Willow, you're not allowed to come in," Peeta says, gently pushing her towards the pool.

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's going on!" she declares, crossing her arms defiantly. She's like me in that way, not letting anyone push her around, or tell her what to do. Right now I wish she wasn't like me, though.

"Please, Willow, go back to the pool," Peeta pleads. But she just stands.

"There's nothing going on, we're all going to talk to you tomorrow. I just need you to not tell anyone about what you saw, do you understand?" I tell her, tears streaming down my face.

"What is there to tell? Why can't you just tell me? Gosh, I'm seventeen, when are you guys going to stop treating me like a child?!" she shouts at us. Peeta and I look at each other. I know if we say 'tomorrow' she'll be even more upset.

"Go get Johanna, maybe she can talk some sense into her," I whisper to Peeta. He nods his head and runs off to get Joahanna.

"What's Aunt Johanna gonna do?"

"She'll give you a reason to leave this alone until tomorrow."

"What is so great about tomorrow?!" she screams at me.

"We're going to tell you something. I know, you don't understand now, but once we tell you you're going to wish we didn't. We wanted you to have one day to just hang out with everyone before we dropped the bomb!" I shout louder.

"Why were you wearing a bracelet that said, 'Mentally Disoriented'?" she asks me quietly.

"Willow, go back to the pool, right now," I firmly state. I'm not letting her find out until tomorrow, she can't, she just can't. Finally, Johanna comes running from the pool.

"Willow, I think you should go back, you don't want to know anything. We'll explain it all tomorrow. Just don't tell anybody what was on that bracelet, let them enjoy the rest of the day," Johanna says.

"Whatever," she huffs, walking back to the pool slowly. Once she's out of earshot Johanna speaks.

"Now, Brainless, are you wearing any more evidence of the games?" she asks sarcastically.

"No. I don't think I'm going back to the pool, can you tell Peeta I'm back at the house?" I ask her. She nods. I don't want to go back, I know Rowan will ask me questions, and I'll keep getting a cold stare from Willow. I think it's best if I let everybody cool down first. Johanna nods and jogs back to the pool. I let silent tears stream freely down my face as I slowly walk to the pool.

"You okay, Katniss?" Annie asks me, looking up from her daze. I guess telling the kids has gotten to all of us. I haven't seen her stare off like that in awhile.

"Yeah, but I almost told her," I huff, exhaling and stretching out on a lounge chair.

"Told me what?" Willow asks, turning from a few chairs away from Annie.

"Nothing, Willow," Annie assures her, staring off into the distance for a moment. She doesn't swim either, she just wears her suit to relax. She's been terrified of water since her games when a tsunami wiped out everyone but her. If I had been in the same situation I'd be just as scared. Oddly, Peeta isn't phased by the water. In fact, once I was able to go in again and taught him to swim, he's gotten really good. It took Willow awhile to learn how to swim, but Rowan was a natural when Peeta first carried him into the pool. Soon enough, the kids are done with swimming and we all go inside our house to watch a movie. Once it's over the kids light a fire outside, and we go back to Peeta's old house to finish the planning.

"Annie, are you watching Finnick's tape with Finn?" I ask her from across the table.

"Yeah, he needs to see his father. He's never seen photos because the only ones taken were from the games," she whispers.

"Alright, so it's settled. We'll watch our tapes with our kids, wait for Annie to finish, then come together to watch the Quell," Peeta says.

"Then, we're going to explain about Peeta," Johanna says, looking at her notes. I take Peeta's hand, "Then, everything that happened to him and me in the Capital, and you guys will explain about Thirteen," she says, looking to Annie and me. We nod.

"Then we can have them take stuff from the boxes and tell them about it," I say, looking at our box on the floor.

"Maybe we should split up for that, too. It's already going to be hard enough," Leo suggests. We all agree. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it through our box. With our things together it's quite big, and I'm bringing my dresses, and Peeta's suits for the kids tomorrow. So they can see in person some of the things remaining of the games. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it through it all. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing Peeta will be with me every step of the way. Johanna goes through the rest of the list quick enough, and we all move our things to the office. The kids don't go there, so they won't find it. I almost start crying on the way back, but I make it to the bedroom, and I wrap myself in the blankets until Peeta comes. Seeing everything, and talking about everything has been too much, so when Peeta's arms envelope me later that night, I don't even notice until I hear his steady heartbeat next to me.

"You love me, real or not real?" he whispers. I turn to face him, not hesitating with my answer as I did all those years ago.

"Real."

"Good, because I love, too," he whispers in my ear. I love hearing him say that, and every time he does I find myself falling more in love with him. I fall asleep that way, snuggled up in his arms, and feeling loved.

**Hey I hope you like it! It's currently 11 where I am, so I think I'm going to bed for the night. Shoot for 10 reviews? I love you all!**


	4. Chapter 4

When I walk through the door I hear complete silence. I walk over to the table and take my seat next to Willow and sigh. Willow shifts in her seat, "What the hell are we doing here, anyway?" she asks.

"Willow," I scold her, she knows I don't approve of swearing.

"Um, we have a video we want to show you guys," Peeta slowly says, like he's talking to children. I suppose he is, though, considering Finnick is the only adult among them. We all get up and walk to the office. We each grab our tapes and walk into the kitchen, sitting back down.

"We're all going to watch it with our own families. We don't want you to have to watch them all," Johanna tells them. The kids all nod slowly, confused as to why they wouldn't all watch them together. Everybody goes into separate rooms to watch their tape. We watch in the living room, just a short distance from the kitchen. Peeta's about to bend down to put the tape in, but I stop him. He knows he's not supposed to do that so much anymore, the doctor said it isn't good for his leg. I scold him with my eyes. He sits down, and my shaky hands gently push in the tape.

_'The 74th Annual Hunger Games'_ fades onto our screen. I feel my heart thumping loudly, and I'm surprised the kids and Peeta can't hear it. Rowan lets out a puff of air from his spot at the edge of the couch next to Willow, "Is this some sort of eating contest?" Caesar Flickerman and Seneca Crane come onto the screen, and Caesar interviews him about his third year as game maker. I'm sitting by Willow, with Peeta by my side and I almost start crying, already seeing Peeta's holding back tears as well.

"No, Rowan, it's not," Peeta tells him.

"Then, what is this, and why are we watching it?" Rowan says, sounding annoyed.

"Shut up, Rowan. You had better watch everything, I don't want you asking a million questions afterwards," I scold him. I turn my attention back and watch as _'The Reapings'_ fades across the screen.

Everybody in District 1 looks as if they'd be just fine if they were picked and nobody volunteered for them. Even their twelve year-olds look good enough to make it past the bloodbath and maybe even further. I hear their escort call out a girls name, but before the girl can take a step towards the stage Glimmer jumps up and shouts,_ "I volunteer!"_ she smooths out her dress and walks to the stage. The escort doesn't act like Effie when I volunteered, she expects a volunteer every year, I've even seen games where people debate who volunteered first. I watch their escort reach into the bowl and call out a boys name. Just the same, though, Marvel calls out, _"I volunteer!"_ and jogs towards the stage. I think about how I killed them both. Glimmer, with the tracker jackers, and Marvel after he hit Rue with a spear. I look over to my clueless children as they watch kids their age volunteer for what they thought at first was an eating contest. I turn back to the screen where Glimmer and Marvel shake hands and it the screen flips over to District 2.

Their escort does the same thing, pulling a name and having Clove and Cato volunteer to take their places. I think of how both Cato and Clove nearly killed me, theoretically nearly killing Peeta as well. My eyes water, threatening to spill over at any minute. District 3 and 4 pass by, but I don't pay much attention, I'm too focused on not letting myself cry. I pay more attention during District 5, watching Foxface climb the steps to the stage with her district parter. I turn away again, focusing on not crying. I watch District 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10, which is less painful because I didn't really know their names. Willow asks me why everybody's so sad in these districts, but I don't answer her. When District 11's reaping comes onto the screen my breath catches in my throat. When Rue's name is called out the tears are more threatening than ever. Peeta rubs my arm, and pulls me closer.

"Seriously, this is the worst movie I've ever seen," Rowan yawns.

"It's not a movie," Peeta tells him.

"Then, what, a TV show?" he asks as Rue looks down and Thresh's name is called.

"I guess," Peeta answers as Thresh climbs the stage and he and Rue shake hands sadly.

"Watch, Rowan," I tell him as our districts reaping comes onto the screen, "This part's important."

"Why?" Willow asks, clearly bored.

"Shhh," Peeta shushes them in time for me to hear Effie call out the girls name.

"Primrose Everdeen!" she reads loud and clear in the microphone.

"Hey, Mom, wasn't your last name Everdeen before you were married?" Willow asks. I nod slowly, watching my little sister walk slowly towards the stage. I wish so badly I could reach through the screen and have her be here with me.

_"Prim!"_ I hear myself shout.

"Mom, is that you?" Willow asks me. I nod again, too shaken to even cry. I watch peacekeepers try to push me back.

_"No! Prim! No! I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!"_ I hear myself scream, pushing past the peacekeepers and standing strong.

"Who's Prim?" I hear Rowan ask.

"She's your aunt," Peeta answers for me.

"Wait, what?" Willow asks, pausing the TV, "We have an aunt and you never told us?"

"Had," I tell them.

"You had two uncles, too," Peeta whispers, "And a grandma, a grandpa, and another grandpa and grandma."

"What happened to all of them?" Rowan asks his father.

"We'll tell you at the end. Let's finish watching," I say. Willow does as I say and we watch as I climb to the stage.

_"I believe we have a volunteer. What's your name, Dear?"_ Effie asks me.

"She is really ugly," Rowan says, making me laugh for the first time today. I hear Peeta let out a laugh, too.

_"Katniss Everdeen,"_ my sixteen year-old self says, nearly crying.

_"Well, I'll bet my hat that was your sister, wasn't it."_

_"Yes."_ I watch Effie spin around and reach into the bowl, pulling out a slip of paper.

_"Peeta Mellark."_

"Wait, Dad was in this, too?" Willow asks.

"Yes, he was," I tell her plainly, resting my head on Peeta's shoulder. I watch Peeta's scared and shocked face as he walks to the stage sadly.

"Why is everybody so sad?" Rowan asks, "This movie sucks."

"Rowan, it's not a movie. This is reality TV," I say.

"Same thing," he says.

"No," I say, "not the same thing."

**Ahh! I'm so mad that I didn't update yesterday! I decided to update on Thursdays from now on because I keep forgetting. If you want to beta please PM me! I really want to have some input on this story before I screw it up :P. I love you all, shoot for 20 reviews?**

**P.S.**

**Who else is totally psyched that they're officially watching the tapes?!**


	5. Chapter 5

The Parade' fades onto the screen and I see Caesar and Claudius, "Here they come. The sponsors get to see the tributes for the first time. The importance of this moment cannot be overlooked," Caesar says to Claudius just before the camera focuses on Glimmer and Marvel on their chariot. They wave, much different than Clove and Cato's appearance, who just stare off, keeping a straight face. The tributes go by, some waving some just standing there, and some looking frightened and sad. Finally, we go by, in our famous fiery capes. You can't see when I snatch my hand away from Peeta, but you do see when we both put our hands in the air and I catch a rose.

"Mom, how did you do your hair like that?" Willow asks, "It would be so cool to wear it like that to prom!"

"I didn't do it. My stylist, Cinna did," I smile, remembering all of the gorgeous clothes he made me before he was brutally killed.

"Could you call him for me? It would be so awesome!" she squeals.

"I'm afraid not," I tell her. I look down sadly, I know she's confused until Peeta gives her a look and she nods, turning to the screen again.

"Welcome! Welcome! Tributes, we welcome you! We honor your sacrifice, and your courage!" President snow says loudly. I look into his snake eyes in disgust.

"What does he mean by 'sacrifice'?" Willow asks.

"Rowan, why don't you pause it," I sigh. I can't talk without sobbing so I end up choking them down as best I can.

"What is it?" Willow asks.

"You know what, let's just wait, you'll figure it out soon enough," Peeta says, seeing how hard it is for me already.

"Okay?" Willow says, though it comes out more like a question. When Rowan plays it I don't look, but I know by the sound of the television that the chariots are leaving.

'As you know,' Caesar began, 'tributes are rated on a scale of 1-12 after three days of careful evaluation.'

"What did you get scored on?" Rowan asks. Neither Peeta or I answer, we just keep looking ahead. I listen to Caesar read through the first few scores.

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it, that guy is hot!" Willow gushes, her mouth gaping at Cato. I guess I never really thought about it, seeing as I was too worried about him killing me, but Cato was a good-looking kid. I laugh at her and watch Clove get her score. District 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 go by and I listen to the scores, not really caring seeing as it doesn't matter to me anymore. When Thresh comes on with a score of 9 I get a little tense, but I keep on watching, waiting for Rue with a score of 7. Finally, District 12.

'Peeta Mellark, with a score of 8,' he reads. I remember how scared I was of my score, and how relieved Peeta was when he heard his.

'From District 12, Katniss Everdeen with a score of 11.'

"Woah, Mom! That's the best!" Willow shouts.

"Your mom made history," Peeta tells them with a smile. I give a faint smile back as the interviews begin.

I see Glimmer's interview come on, I tune out until I hear a question come from Rowan's mouth.

"What does she mean by 'I'm very prepared?'," he asked.

"She means she's very prepared,"I answer flatly, making that awful choking sound I make when I'm about to cry.

"For?" he prompts, obviously wanting a more specific answer. That's all he's getting right now, though, he'll figure it out when the games start. Glimmer's interview goes by, as does Marvel's. All I can think about as I watch them is that I killed them. When Clove's comes on I think about how she was killed by Thresh, and that if it weren't for him I'd be dead now. Clove comes and goes and Cato's face takes us the screen.

'I'm prepared, I'm visious, I'm ready to go,' I hear his voice come from the speakers.

"What is everybody so prepared for?" Willow asks, "Is this like a wrestling match or something? He said he's viscious."

"No, Willow, this isn't a wrestling match," Peeta whispers. I look at the leg Cato cut. I put my hand on it, being able to feel the slight difference in the fake one and the short stub that is real. He looks at me with tears in his eyes, and I can tell he's just a reflection of what I look like right now. We turn back to catch the end of the girl from District 3's interview. I don't listen at all, because it's too hard to learn their names, so, just like with the reaping 3 and 4 go by, but I pay attention when Foxface comes on.

'If I apply myself to the situation present I will be able to figure it out,' she says, looking so innocent and helpless.

"What the hell is going on?!" Rowan shouts. He gets frustrated easily.

"Something."

"Well, I'm leaving if it doesn't start soon," he huffs. None of us respond, but I know Willow is loosing patience as well. 6,7,8,9, and 10 go by, then it's Rues turn. I let a few tears slip past my eyes as she sits there, and a few more when Thresh is onstage. Finally, my younger self walks nervously onstage.

"Hey, Mom, there you are again!" Rowan says.

"Oh my gosh, I love your dress!" Willow gushes. Peeta begins to chuckle behind me and I snap my head in his direction.

"What're you laughing at?"

"You!" I punch him in the side, "Come on! Look a your face, you look like a deer in the headlights!" He continues laughing and Willow and Rowan join in.

"Quiet, I want to hear this!" Rowan scolds after Caesar asks me about Prim.

"Why were you so sad? The first people to come out looked excited," Willow says, her brows knitting together in confusion.

"This wasn't a good time of year," Peeta answers dully, not quite answering her question but efficiently shutting her up. Before I know it my interview is done and Peeta is walking onstage.

"Dad looks happy," she observes, still pushing on why some people were sad.

"I had to look happy," Peeta tells her, "I had to make the people like me."

"I don't understand," she says, "why didn't Mom do the same thing?"

"I was scared."

"Of..." She prompts but neither of us answer. I realize that Rowan had paused unjust as Peeta and Caesar finished smelling each other.

"You can play it, Rowan," Peeta says for me. It's playing and Caesars voice comes through the speakers.

'So,motel us, Peeta. Was there a special someone back home?' Peeta blushes and I find the TV paused again.

"Oh my gosh! Dad who was she?! It's obvious there's someone!" Peeta and I laugh, and I lean into him even more.

"Play it and you'll find out."

So, who is loving it? Who is hating it? Who has ideas? PM or leave them in the reviews! I'm so sorry for not updating on Thursday but everything's been so crazy lately! Anyone wanna beta? I love you all! Shoot for 30 reviews?

P.S.

who else has a friend who thinks they're weird for reading/writing fanfiction? My friends think I'm a nerd...can't argue though! :D


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